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248# the origin

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Mar. 17th, 2010 | 04:29 am
location: bed
mood: artisticartistic

i was supposed to be restin enough durin this period that i'm stayin home but it seems to be as per norm.
i am slpin at crazy hours and barely wakin up at norm hours.
doin nth but wastin my disgustin life away.
to make it worse? i dont even feel happy this time round.
i am barely turnin into a zombie again.
even food's disgustin.
whoever said i hate eatin is seriously wrong.
what am i to? for you to evn think i'm racist and forcin it on me, you were alr wrong abt that.
anw i've been havin miniature quarrels w mum cos all she gives me's fish porridge!
i asked for fruits and she v much ignores my request and kept feedin me w food i'm v much not interested in.
whn i refuse to eat due to the lack of variety in food choices, she repeats her question!
it's retarded to what extent? try this:
"girl, you want fish porridge?"
"no." alr pretty frustrated here.
"..err..or you want wanton mee?" slightly cheered up here.
"oh, sounds great."
"i think better get you fish porridge ok? bye" THEN WHY IN THE WORLD BOTHER ASKIN ME!?
i dont get it whn the answer to a question asked, doesnt have any effect or to evn matter in this sense.
i've alr said i'm SICK of the porridge! take it if you want! it's irritatin!
i love my food but not plain tastin thgs that i've to eat day-in, day-out!
i mean if twas delicious, i really wouldnt mind but to be forced upon? no thanks!

it seems like recently, i feel kinda detached w He. it's like, other than grace, we barely spoke, it was nv like before. in the beginnin, the ppl ard were the ones who brought me closer to He but recently, they were the ones who made me wanna be away. To try to see thgs clearer. it was as if, His presence was clouded by all the unneeded acts. He's great, one and only but i hate it whn ppl try to do and say thgs to further emphasize it and make me think like them. arent you ppl confident of His ability and presence? why do i feel like you arent and are tryin to convince me? for one, at least i knoe that He is the one and i dont have to keep remindin myself for He knoes, that at the end of the day, i knoe, to whom i shud return too. i just read an email from cfc. i've been deletin emails comin from there recently. i wanna be away from the ppl but not He. so it was from alvin, abt some music event. there's abt to be a fast again. i alws feel like i'm closer to He durin fasts, somehow i'm glad there's one this time. i think i'l do it w the rest but idk if i'm ready to return for the event..

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Comments {2}

sinhui, 25 and awesome.

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from: isinn
date: Mar. 17th, 2010 07:08 am (UTC)

the fish porridge thingy is quite lol.

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(no subject)

from: cigarettebutts
date: Mar. 17th, 2010 10:11 am (UTC)

YES!!! i was so !!! but aft one wk, she kinda got it!! hahaha! she's cookin udon tonight. WAHAHAA! BUT it's fish udon -.- HAHAHA!

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