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271# experience

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Mar. 20th, 2011 | 07:55 pm
location: Cave
mood: blankblank
music: Arashi

so much to reflect on for yst but really? i'm pretty stoned. there are so much to think abt, so much happened and feelings i've nv felt before, fears i nv knew cld still bug me, helplessness, stupidity, evrythg in one. at one point it felt like i was just watchin' myself run, not gd. it was as if i was on autopilot but the destructive mode. feelin' like i really needa sit down and rethink evrythg but i dont have the luxury of the time, time was spent tryin' to force myself to slp the fatigue off. one thg that really bothered me was the parts whn we didnt knoe whr's the endzone! well, the cones were kinda confusin' but we were quite dumb as well i guess. if it wasnt for the fact that the mistake nearly caused us sth, it'd be quite funny to see two idiots runnin' deep and mistakin' the endzone. best part was we didnt do it once but many times. there's only one word for it, stupid. didnt like the emotions, twas too much for me to handle, a lil of it'd be fine but too much of it crashes me. took so much for me to neutralise the whole feelin'. really bad idea to play nball before the games, totally changed my whole play. i guess the only gd thg was i realised it, tho a tad too late but at least i did and tried to correct it a lil. grateful that c was there to throw w me, tho we were doin' quite some retarded throws but it was really much more comfy throwin' w somebod close. cuttin' wise, i really have no recollections of it, so it either mean i didnt cut durin' game or i simply didnt cut. ngaahhh.. however, i was still quite lucky to get by w ALOT of luck, or it'd really have been worse. needed stop thinkin' abt regrets but think of how to change my play and correct my mistakes! the regret thg really doesnt work for me.. it drags me dwn instead of givin' me the boost. lotsa changes to be done, throws, cut and mental ability. in fact, i felt like i didnt evn bring my composure in whn i played. horrid but it's over, new page, new day this sat!

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